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A TG Holiday Commentary from Nancy-Jo
Posted: 17 years ago - Dec 26, 2008Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands?
Hell No! - Street Level where I Live is 6000 Feet!
(A TG Holiday Commentary From Nancy-Jo)
This year, just as I have for the last couple of years, I spent Christmas totally alone. Aside from one homemade decoration that a dear co-worker from my job had given me (which got broken before I could even get it home), there was no sign that this festive season had ever come upon us - especially if you went by how my apartment looked. No lights, no Christmas tree; and definitely no presents.
So no - the gaily-illuminated house behind me in some of the e-card pics I sent out (sigh), is NOT mine at all! Was I boycotting Christmas? Did I threaten Santa with a union picket at his Toy Factory, if he were to step foot upon my roof last night? Did I go heathen - and strike Jesus’ Birthday from my calendar of events to honor? Judging by the preposterous nature of those questions, those who actually know me well would surely know that none of the above could ever be true! It’s just that some people (like Trans-women who are also blatant Political Activists in a grossly-Conservative town), live in a personal no-man’s-land that few others are willing to walk alongside them in. Now before you dub this as some pathetic Prologue to a St. Nancy-Jo the Martyr Pity Party, please hear my point: During the Holidays, many Trans-folk find themselves completely forgotten. More often than not, their Families of Origin would consider their sudden, unannounced and totally transformed appearance at the huge, reunion-like festive feasts commonly held at this time to be a recipe for certain emotional disaster. So the hosts of these events in many cases just lie low, conveniently do not send THAT person an invitation - and hope they don’t show up anyway, lest the Grand-kids take to asking all kinds of hard questions; and someone who may have been nursing the spiked egg nog for far too long, gets way tempted to launch into a drunken Sermon against all Queerness! Hmmm - that’s definitely NOT the stuff which commonly passes as good ti-dings of com-fort and joy, comfort and joy...! Other Trans-folk who blossomed later in life may likewise lose the fellowship of the very families they built, supported and eventually saw off with the help of a now ex-spouse who, despite all that, would just as soon see them dead and gone. So all the love that once used to flourish in those relationships appears now and forever to be away in a manger! But what of excellent friends and associates? Well, a lot of them DO have families that they can and will spend quality time with during these Tradition-filled days. Many of these are strong Allies to their Transgender friends - and will be secure enough in their psyche or ego to invite that forlorn friend into their family-fest; but a lot of times, quite due to the hectic nature of the Yule Season, even they just innocently forget. Winter sicknesses can also steal away wonderful social opportunities at local houses of worship or even bars and clubs. Actually, that was the Temporary Nemesis that kept me home, later on Christmas Eve. During such a physiological struggle, ofttimes the only visitors sure to come your way are two frumpy old girlfriends whose names are Holly Dae Loneliness followed by Lady Dee Preshun! No matter what the reason, the net result is many times all the same - a large percentage of the Trans Community will be home alone during Christmas and/or New Years. And for some of these folks, this can lead to a potential disaster because suicide rates in all people-groups across the board (and especially within OURS), tend to ironically be highest during the holiday season. Obviously no one can take precision steps to absolutely guarantee that anyone else will pull through a sad and lonely time this Winter. A vast portion of the responsibility lies with the person in question, themselves. But just dropping a line by e-mail, card or phone is far better than doing totally nothing to help. So please remember your TG friends, while you enjoy your holiday season... You just might make their day, week, month or YEAR! Lovingly, Yahoo http://360.yahoo.com/nancy_jo58
Nancy-Jo Morris
Colorado Springs, USA
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